Perimenopause, Music and Mood: A Therapist’s Personal Reflection.

As a woman and a therapist, I have been reflecting deeply on my own perimenopause journey and the surprising ways it has changed my relationship with music. Perimenopause can bring hormonal shifts, sleep disruption, anxiety, low mood and a sense of losing the “old me.” For many of the women I work with in counselling, and in my own life, music has always been a powerful emotional anchor. Yet during perimenopause, I’ve noticed that what I can tolerate, enjoy or even bear to listen to changes dramatically from day to day.

On the good days, when my hormones feel more balanced and my energy is higher, I naturally reach for high‑energy music. Upbeat playlists, songs I can sing along to in the car, or tracks that make me want to move my body help me feel glimmers of joy and aliveness. On these days, music feels like a bridge back to myself. It reminds me that I am still here beneath  brain fog and mood swings. Fast tempos, strong beats and familiar lyrics can lift my mood, boost motivation and help me reconnect with a sense of hope and possibility.

Then there are the flat days. These are not full‑blown low mood days, but times when everything feels a little muted, grey or “meh.” On these days, high‑energy music can feel like too much. Instead, I find myself drawn to podcasts, gentle background sounds or meditation music. Listening to a thoughtful conversation, a calming voice or soft instrumental tracks gives my nervous system something soothing to lean into without demanding too much emotional engagement. It is less about feeling joy and more about feeling held, grounded and not alone with my thoughts.

On the low mood days, my relationship with sound changes again. There are times in perimenopause when my mood dips so much that I have no desire to listen to music at all. Even my favourite songs can feel overwhelming, irritating or strangely empty. Silence, or very minimal background noise, feels safer. As a therapist, I recognise this as a protective response: when our emotional bandwidth is stretched thin, even pleasurable stimulation can feel like “too much.” Allowing myself to turn the volume down, literally and metaphorically, has become an important act of self‑compassion.

These shifts have taught me that there is no “right” way to use music during perimenopause. Instead, there is a moment‑to‑moment invitation to notice: What do I need today? On a good day, you might choose a playlist that makes you dance in the kitchen. On a flat day, you might reach for a gentle podcast, a guided meditation or nature sounds. On a low mood day, you might honour the need for quiet and give yourself permission not to force anything at all. Listening to your inner cues, rather than judging yourself for not enjoying what you “used to,” can be deeply healing.

From a counselling perspective, paying attention to your musical preferences can become a simple but powerful self‑care tool in perimenopause. You might keep a small “mood and music” journal, noticing how your cycle, sleep, stress levels and emotions interact with what you want to listen to. Over time, patterns often emerge. This awareness can help you build a personalised toolkit: energising playlists for when you need a lift, calming audio for when you feel overstimulated, and permission for silence when your system needs rest.

If you are a woman navigating perimenopause, you are not alone in these changes. It is completely normal for your mood, energy and even your taste in music to feel unpredictable. Instead of seeing this as a loss, you might gently reframe it as an evolving relationship with yourself. By honouring what you can manage on good days, flat days and low mood days, you are practising attunement, self‑kindness and emotional regulation. These are the same skills we often explore together in therapy, and they can support you in moving through perimenopause with greater understanding and care.

If you notice that your low mood is lasting longer, you feel overwhelmed by anxiety, or you are struggling to cope with the emotional impact of perimenopause, counselling can offer a safe, confidential space to explore what you are going through. Together, we can make sense of your experience, develop supportive strategies and help you reconnect with the parts of you that still find moments of joy, even if they feel small right now.